Well I can easily say that my previous title was premature. I don’t think it’s fair to mention the word slumdog in the same sentence as Thailand. I just spent the entire day at the largest indoor and outdoor market that I’ve ever seen (and I’ve been to 21 countries in my life time). In this market were 99% locals and these locals were by no means ultra poor. Thailand is a nation that has a large size middle class (in relative third world nation status). What I’m trying to say is that the vast majority of the country enjoys a roof over their head, plenty of food, and even enough money to purchase a little of just about anything you can think of. By no means are they middle class by US standards, but relative to the rest of the world, they have a pretty sweet life.
I can honestly say that I almost passed out from a sugar rush and overload during my street food binge. I had a coconut water immediately followed by a sugar cane drink and then topped it off with a Thai Orange Juice. Very sweet to the point where I felt like I would either fly in the next few minutes or tumble to my sugar induced death. I now have diabetes by the way.
I had barbecued octopus on a stick for 30 cents, chicken skewers for another 30 cents, and crab Rangoon for another 30 cents. It was a veritable orgy of flavors and exotics in and around my mouth. A crab Rangoon is a deep fried dumpling with sweet cream cheese and a hard boiled quail egg topped with sweet chili sauce. This shit is real. I can’t stress this enough, “If you go to Thailand, get as far away from the tourist traps and sit down restaurants as you can. The real food is the food of the people. Go to their market and eat in their streets and you will have your best meals; all for embarrassingly low prices. Prices so low, you wouldn’t dare try and barter with them.
Come to think of it, there isn’t too much bartering culture in the local areas. It is more of something to do in the tourist traps. When something is asking for 30 cents for something that would cost 6 dollars at home (in a Japanese restaurant), you just smile and take it. If they would have asked for 60 cents would you have ever noticed the difference? But seriously, it’s not like Mexico where any hesitation will lead to the solicitor to offer a different price. You have to work on them for 5 agonizing minutes to save an extra 50 cents on your $2 t-shirt and at that point, is it even worth it?
But let’s get to this market and its size and splendor. We got out of a cab and entered the market. We walked for 20 minutes in a straight line through all sorts of stands to learn that we had only passed through an outskirt market that is sort of a warm up for the main market. Inside of the market we didn’t even dare to turn and spread down any of the isles. We just went in a straight line and ended up taking over 2 hours to reach the other side.
During that straight line we saw all sorts of things but the live animals for sale were probably the most mind blowing. It started slow with pure breed puppies. I stared at a bull dog puppy waddling around like a duck for 10 minutes before I asked the man how much. He looked at me and, with an abnormally long delay, gave me a price. He was sizing me up and figuring out how many multiples he could get away with. Correction with the bargaining proclamation, you can bargain, when it is a big ticket item, and the guy hesitates for a while before he gives you a price. This is where you can probably get a 30-50% discount.
Onto the more exotic animals for sale: how about a peacock? Or a hedge hog? Maybe a squirrel? Or a Salt Water Crocodile? Naaa that’s not rare enough; an albino snapping turtle? Oh and you can buy bags of live plankton for your whale too. I’m not kidding, this place is insane. Of course there are the $5 coy fish for sale (hundreds in the states). I’m trying to think back to the day to remember the other exotic animals, but I’m at a loss at the moment.
The most expensive thing I found today was a $9K statue of an alien from the movie “Aliens” that was welded together entirely from spare parts. This price of course included the shipping costs back to your home or dungeon.
The people here are helpful and kind. They are absolutely thrilled when you request them to teach you some of the language too.
The dichotomy that does exist is the one between sexuality and language. The Thai government does a great job censoring the internet in content that uses swear words, but there are prominent sex shows and prostitution.
I’ll talk more about that next time.